Hello Blog, Hello Me

Well I have been reading every ones blog, I thought that maybe that I should share too. Here goes it. I type sketchy so bare with me.

I had a horrible night, or think so. I just got done with a meeting, and doing service work by driving someone home when on my way to the coffee house I got pulled over. The first thing he asked me was were you drinking. I had just ran a stoplight that I did not see. I couldn't believe what he asked me. I even just got out a meeting. It reminds me of how fragile sobriety is. My parents were great enough to let me stay, I feel blessed but the idea of relapsing is always on every ones mind.

Now to the meat of what is on my mind. Just this last couple of nights I had a drunk call, and my friend was talking to me about suicide. Scary. I went over and stayed at her house. I just got an interview to a sober living, (I want to get out of Mankato) now my funds are running low so I might have to cancel. I watched a movie Elizabeth II I loved it, her amongst odds.

One of the reflections at a meeting was attitude and action. I thought maybe taking action. Doesn't seem that way now.

I am not a negative person, but when I am not at my own house and screwed up because of drinking, not much to think.

I was joking with my friends, He with his girl problem, I alone was saying why can't someone come from the sky. He told me that its perfection that we want. I guess he was right it is hard to find perfection when it's not there.

One thing that distorts my mind is choosing Spirituality vs. Religion. I am very faithful to my Lord and Savior. I consider myself GLBT in Recovery but also conservative to religion and politics. Deciphering between the two is very difficult, consider I want to be conservative christian. Its hard. Maybe that's why I have gone through 10-12 sponsors. So when people say work the program chad, it's hard splitting the two. I have been looking so hard I looked into being Mormon, but I can't because different ideas.

This was a start so, people say that I think too much, Might be right there?
Thanks for reading, I keep praying, reading and listening for what I need to do. Hope I can help:)